


A Nightmare and a Confession

by Willowflower_Waterlily



Series: Commander Cullen's Thoughts [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowflower_Waterlily/pseuds/Willowflower_Waterlily





	A Nightmare and a Confession

Cullen is back in Kinloch again. He and Amell are surrounded by blood mages. _This is a nightmare_ , he thinks to himself, _wake up_. But he doesn't. The mages around them weaken Amell's barrier. Destroying it, they stab her through the stomach to use her blood to kill him. He catches her as she falls. His friend dying, again. He thinks of the times he kept watch over her and Niall in the library. Ignoring when they held hands. Cullen didn't want to take that from them. As she dies Amell whispers, "if you find Niall, tell him I love him... I ... never..." Cullen cries as the light in her eyes fades away. He blinks and suddenly it is no longer Amell that he is holding, but Shaelya.

"No!" He screams as he wakes up at his desk, and sobs into his hands. For the people he's lost, and the fear of losing his love. A gentle touch on his shoulder startles him. Shaelya is beside him, worry etched on to her face. She wraps her arms around him and lets him cry onto her shoulder, his body shaking.

"A nightmare?" She asks softly. He nods, miserably. "If you need to talk, a shoulder to cry on, I will always be here for you." She says, kissing the top of his head. He feels a profound sense of love that he isn't sure he deserves.

"I must tell you something." He says, pulling away from her. "I have stopped taking lyrium. I stopped when I left Kirkwall. Cassandra said that she would keep an eye on me, to make sure that this does not hinder my ability to lead. If it does, I have asked her to find a replacement for me." Cullen looks at her cautiously, hoping she'll understand.

"I am glad you are no longer taking it. Lyrium is a poison that no one should have ever taken. What will it do to you? And is there any way I can help?"

"So far it's been nightmares, headaches, and shaking hands. Nothing I can not endure." Cullen rubs the back of his neck and doesn't make eye contact with Shaelya. "Your being here for me helps. It is more than I could ever ask of you. I will understand if it is too much, and you want to... move on to some one who is not fighting a leash." He says, his heart breaking at the thought. Cullen feels her hand on his cheek and she gently makes him look at her again.

"I want you with me." She says, "I want you in my life, by my side. Not just the positive, but the negative too. Never think you have to fight this alone. You don't always have to be so strong, you can lean on me too." Shaelya kisses Cullen's forehead, and helps him stand up. "You need to have a good night sleep. Follow me." She grabs his hand and pulls him toward the door. He worries, they had been keeping their relationship a secret. What would people say? How would this effect the Inquisition? He makes a startled noise. She turns around and gives him a look that tells him she's in no mood for debate. Cullen lets her guide him through the rotunda, and the main hall into her living quarters. She helps him undress down to his smalls and tucks him into bed. He feels as though he's probably turned bright red from the thought of sharing a bed with her. Shaelya leans over him, and kisses him good night, before taking his cloak, and lays down on her sofa. Before he can protest, she's already asleep and lightly snoring. Chuckling to himself, he takes a deep breath and tries to fall asleep.


End file.
